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My life is a really embarrassing family sitcom/ romantic comedy. Except it never ends well.

I was hanging out with this guy I’m really into tonight. He was dropping me off and when we pulled in front of my house we started making out. Whatever all was good. So as I was getting out of the car he yells “Dude what the hell, you sat in gum.” I look behind me and there’s a giant strand of gum leading from my ass to his brand new suede seats. I blamed it on his car ran Inside and died.

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